Resilience
Words by:
Charman Driver
I’ve observed in my years of coaching that some people are able to “bounce back” from challenging situations and experiences better than others. It’s as if they were born with resilience. The fact is, “Resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary” and “people commonly demonstrate resilience.” According to the American Psychological Association, “Resilience is not a trait that people have or don’t have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”
Learning resilience is a lifelong journey and different experiences will affect diverse people in disparate ways throughout life, but it’s the way one deals with those trying life circumstances that will be transformative. For me, resilience is about emotional strength and anything I can do to build up that psychological muscle is vital to my well-being.
Here are ten ways we can all use to cultivate resilience in our lives (adapted from the APA’s ‘The Road to Resilience’ series):
1. Meditation and spiritual practice: It can help build connections and restore hope.
2. Take care of yourself: Exercising regularly and engage in activities that you find relaxing and enjoyable. Taking care of yourself helps you deal with situations that require resilience.
3. Connect: Good relationships with family and friends are important. Also accepting help and support from loved ones is imperative.
4. Accept change as part of living: Accepting the things you cannot change will improve the circumstances that can be shifted.
5. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable: Change how you decipher and respond to stressful events. Look beyond the present and into the future.
6. Make realistic goals: Take small actions towards achieving your goals daily.
7. Make decisions: Act on adverse situations as much as you can.
8. Self-discovery: Learn something about yourself through adverse experiences. Tragedies and hardships can better relationships, increase self-worth, and heighten appreciation for life.
9. Develop confidence: Nurture a positive view of yourself and the ability to solve problems and trust your instincts.
10. Maintain and optimistic and hopeful outlook: Visualize what you want and have an optimistic outlook on life.