Self-Acceptance
Silver Cedar Earring
Available at: Gabrielle Jewelry
Photography: Jillian Clark
Location: Guest House Raleigh
Words by:
Charman Driver
How do we get over the habit of constantly judging ourselves? I believe it starts with the task of complete self-acceptance.
According to Harvard Medical School’s Health Blog, self-acceptance is defined as “an individual’s acceptance of all of her attributes, positive or negative.” It includes body acceptance, self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one’s capacities.
There are many reasons for low self-acceptance, but the widely accepted theory is that people with low self-acceptance may have had parents who lacked empathy during their childhood. I can say for sure that my father lacked empathy for various reasons and it contributed to my own low self-acceptance for many years. As a result, I had to do the challenging, but ultimately, transformative work of self-acceptance.
While there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to fully appreciating self, for decades there have been extensive studies done on psychological well-being in the fields of both clinical psychology and positive psychology. There are tangible steps you can take that can put you on the road to accepting yourself fully. It’s worth the labor, as studies also show that lack of self-acceptance has profound effects on your physical and psychological health, with many physical and emotional consequences. Do it, because you’re worth it!
Here are a few ways to increase and strengthen self-acceptance that I find helpful:
1. Self-regulation. Overcome negative emotions like self-hatred and focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Always look for ways to reframe negative situations and find opportunities in them.
2. Self-awareness. Be conscious of your fears, motives and desires.
3. Self-transcendence. Rely less on things outside of yourself to define you.
4. Loving-Kindness meditation.
Of course, different methods work for different people but I can’t stress enough the importance of mindfulness meditation as a tool for self-acceptance. Find what resonates with you and start having compassion for who you are—warts and all.